5.8.21

It is currently the day after my birthday. I am officially in my late 20s. 26 to be precise. 26 is such a weird age.

Did I feel like celebrating this birthday? Not really.

Did it feel like I have jumped into the next chapter of my life? I guess.

26 is the age that at least the people I've been around look to as the next big milestone after 21. At 26, you're officially on your own. Over the past 26 years of my life I have been privileged to be able to have strong healthcare under my parents. Now, I don't have that. Perks of living in the United States of America, amiright?

Now, I don't want to get political on this, I mean I might, but just right now I don't.

Luckily, I'm healthy and have been healthy so I should be okay for a bit.

This is a time where I truly have to reflect and wonder what I should be actively doing in my life.

I feel like I've finally got a handle on what I want to do, but I don't want to waste my time on things that aren't going to be pushing me to where I want to be.

So where do I want to be?

If you ask me what I see myself doing this time next year, it's this. I want to work on Simplex Minds and I want to bring value to the creative community. Choosing to be a creative as a career is tough and grueling. If I can help create some sort of safe haven for creatives to allow themselves to learn and disconnect from the societal pressures of "success" and "failure" and just objectively see progress, then that's what I want to do.

How can I turn that into a career?

Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out. There needs to eventually be some sort of sustainable cash flow inwards in order to at least support myself. But that's not the goal. The goal is to be able to support myself and be able to hire/contract different creatives so they can develop their creativity.

I have so many plans for this platform, with the goal to push personal creativity.

The main thing I need to focus right now is just establishing this platform and creating a strong base to build upon. The money will come. But if I want to do this right I need to build this correct. That means no shopping to bigger companies to try and sell partial ownership for quick money. I just shouldn't take any quick money from people or companies that don't align with the Simplex Mindset.

I don't know what I'm trying to say in this post. I just feel like I should be talking about something right now. There's so much clutter in my head that has been elevated with the thought that one freak accident can just destroy my life financially.

I just want to keep working on this project because I see so much potential in it. I can see all the good this kind of platform can do for the creative community. I just feel like there isn't a true platform out there that gives a voice to those that are going through it and haven't figured it out yet.

How come we're always asked what we want to be every year of our life ever since we we're able to write a singular word? How come we have to figure out what career we want right out of high school when we have no education in grade school that actually allows us to know what different professions do? Just kind of have to hope that the major you choose is what you want and live with it.

It's taken me until now to understand what I want to do. I just turned 26. And what I want to do right now isn't even a job. It will be, but it isn't right now.

So what do I do now?

Idk man.

This has just been a word vomit of different things. I'm 26 now, so there's that.

I just want to keep working on this and create something that benefits the community. I just want to create something that I feel like is going to be needed since a lot of the younger generation want to go into creative fields. Creative careers are tough. Your mental health when going into these career fields will suffer. You will be questioning your ability consistently. You will be comparing yourself to others consistently. Your journey is your own personal journey tailored to yourself. You go through different things that others don't go through and they go through things you don't. You can see their work, but you don't what happened behind the scenes.

I may seem like an overprivileged millennial stressing over a problem that could be solved instantly if I just get a "normal" job. There is truth to that, but I still want to do what I want to do. I don't want to get so close to something I feel can be something great and just give up on it because the system is set up against this kind of "career path".

I believe in my ability to create. Whether that's a video concept, an organization, an opportunity, or whatever. Whenever I have decided to create something, I have been able to do it my way and put myself in better situations because of it.