When traversing life, we are always looking forward to what is ahead and to what is out of our grasp at the moment. We focus on what could be and work our way to where we want to be. Is this a negative thing? Most of the time it's not. Looking towards the future gives us hope and a goal to pursue. It gives us a sense of purpose in a very convoluted life.
But what if you don't necessarily have a specific goal you want to work towards? What if your mind moves from topic to topic, from one career aspiration to the next? What happens to you then?
In a society hyper-focused on career accomplishments and monetary wealth, you begin to lose yourself. You don't have a specific path to follow. You feel aimless. You feel like you aren't progressing at the rate of others. You feel like you aren't where you feel like you should be. Do you even know where you should be?
Anxiety begins to develop through even the simplest of questions
"What are you up to?"
"What do you do?"
"What do you want to do?"
I don't know.
But saying "I don't know" just feels so embarrassing and so depressing to admit. I'd honestly rather not talk about it.
I've learned that focusing on the future and what you do not currently have, you begin to forget what you do have. And what you do have is growth.
Growth is a never ending part of life. Each day you experience something you haven't experienced before, no matter how big or small. The person you were last year is not the person you are today. Even if you were lost and directionless, you still grew. Growth comes in all different forms. From the tangible (monetary), to the mental, to the physical.
My personal growth is the one thing I always try to keep in mind whenever the future feels cloudy. Life is a combination of random events that is affected by others where you never truly have full control. There is going to be ups and downs, but if you look at each event through a lens of growth, you can turn every event into a positive. No matter the situation, you can always learn from your past.
At the end of the day, you have full responsibility over yourself and the way you grow. Your mind set is one of the biggest contributors to how you see your growth. You may be growing in ways that others can see, but you personally don't see it or want to believe it.
If you do not believe in your own growth, you will never see it. No matter how much others will want to try and help you see it, if your mind is set on not allowing yourself to see the growth, you will never believe it.
A lot of what I am saying, is a personal projection as to how I am trying to fix my mentality towards life. In my life, I have always doubted my abilities and my ability to grow. I have had loved ones and close friends tell me how much they've seen me grow in the past few years and I simply did not believe it. I kept looking at all of my failures. I kept looking at every time I would drop the ball and feel like they were only saying those things to make me feel better.
I wouldn't look at the times I succeeded. I wouldn't look at my past projects and remind myself what I have done. I wouldn't consider that I did something different in this project, that I had no clue how to do in the last. Sometimes you just need to remind yourself that you have done things that you are proud about. You have done things that have surprised yourself. You have accomplished many things and you don't give yourself enough credit.
Life keeps going. Time keeps moving. Tomorrow will come. But don't forget about your past and the things you have accomplished, no matter how big or small they are. Your past has built you to who you are today. You wouldn't be the person you are today without your past. Don't get lost too much in the future. You may not know exactly what you want to pursue right now, but over time you will learn.
You will always grow. You will always learn new things. You will figure it out. Don't get too caught up on where you are trying to be and work on where you are at right now.
Simplify the complex and take it slow. Life is a process and a journey. Everything will be okay in the end.