A mental road block | 5.14.2022

My mind is everywhere.

I don't know what to focus on and truly work on. So here I am, writing this blog post to try to make sense of it all.

I feel like I'm not doing enough. I feel like I should be doing more, but I don't know what. I also feel a bit unmotivated by life. I'm getting doubts and feeling like I may not be leading us in the right direction.

We're in a weird stage right now where I feel like we're just doing what we're doing to go through the motions. Meetings are beginning to feel stale and I just don't feel the energy we used to have.

It's tough because this is a side project for all of us, and since it's a side project that's the energy we're going to maintain. I want to turn it into a main project, but that requires money and we just don't have that. I'm also not making enough myself to even try and dip into my account to compensate them.

I want main project energy, but I just can't ask that of them. They're taking time out their day to help out. They have their own jobs. They have their own lives. We only have a finite amount of time in a day and to ask more time from them is a big ask.

We're in the middle of the 2nd season right now. Currently at the end of week 13/20. We still have 7 weeks left. We can't really change anything right now.

What can I do right now?

I am currently waiting for the application to turn Simplex Minds into an LLC to clear. It's been nearly a month since I applied. I just want it to clear. I want to be able to apply for a tax ID. Then open up a business account. Then start selling clothes.

What are some issues that we are facing right now?

Honestly, we are using a dying platform as a way to promote our content. Instagram has been where we've been promoting our content and its a place where people just don't go on anymore. But, the thing is I have no clue how else to promote the content without asking more from the team. Instagram is easy because you just need a graphic to accompany your content. All of the other platforms require video, which isn't something I can ask of everyone.

We do written content right now, which it in itself is a very unpopular medium. But, we are building a library.

Idk... we need something to change.

Did I bring people in too fast? Did I expand our team too fast?

I thought bringing in new people would allow for fresh perspectives and exploration. Which would in turn maintain high quality pieces since these people are writing about the main people that inspire them.

It's not a this season problem either. It's something I even struggled with last season. There's some pieces I wrote about that just didn't feel right either. It's a mid-season problem.

I'm just thinking out loud right now.

My mind is just everywhere right now. There is so much potential for Simplex, but how do we get there? How do we get more eyes? How do we get more people to maintain support?

Quality is what we need to focus on more. Organization is also something that we need help with. Everything is pretty disorganized tbh. That's on me. Most of all of this is on me.

Where we are fucking up:

• Promotion of pieces

• Quality of pieces

• Workflow organization

• Discipline, as in keeping on task

These are generalities and not applicable to everything or everyone. I'm not trying to talk shit, just trying to get an understanding of where we are at.

Overall, we are doing well. I just want us to be doing better. I want us to be growing. I want people to want to read every piece that is posted in order to learn something new.

I think it's just time I sit down and speak to the team face to face and talk about frustrations. I need to lead and not just sit by. When I was making content for a media company a few years back, a talk and transparency would have been very appreciated. Just letting things be wouldn't help anyone.

I'm not mad at anyone. This is still all new. We are all trying to figure things out. Especially me. I've never done anything like this before. I have lead groups before, I have made content before, but I'm still so new to everything.

What can I do in order to be a better leader? What can I do to better motivate the team? What can I do to effectively communicate my concerns without attacking?

These are all questions I need to ask the team. I appreciate every single person that has been a part of this project. I just need to communicate better.

So yeah, this was just a lot of brain vomit. A lot of thinking and questioning for an answer of just communicating to the team. I'm going to be honest, communication has been one of skill I truly need to work on. I accept things as they are and just let it be. It's not good to be like that.

I want us to succeed. I want us to be pushing out amazing pieces. I want our readers to feel eager for the next piece. I want them to learn something new. I want the readers to connect with the team. I want to build communities for the team.

It's a learning process. I feel much better now than I did at the beginning of this post. We can always grow and become better. I can't feel defeated and give up. It's not fair to everyone. Just another obstacle we'll get over.